In my personal experience, productivity is directly correlated to vision. The more in line your pathway is towards your vision, the more productive and motivated you will be. When your steps are out of line with your vision, doubt and sloth creeps in.
Another thing I’ve observed is that personal biases from nature and nurture can create blockage in your vision. You might lose sight of the long term picture because of some sort of obstruction in the near term. Another thing that can happen is mental illness could disable you from reaching your potential.
My personal biases from genetics is that I tend to be impulsive and fearful. This goes hand in hand because I tend to have shiny object syndrome and make an impulsive decisions without researching too much into it. I am also fearful because I also have an innate high risk aversion. I often have paralysis by analysis and end up not going through with a decision because of fear and letting things go for too long. This goes hand in hand because whenever I try to go to the next level of risk tolerance, I end up making impulsive decisions that cost me over the long run.
My personal biases from nurture is that I tend to hold onto grudges for too long. Bitterness gets rooted and I end up having an impaired vision of what the actuality is. This might also prevent me from taking responsibility for my actions and prevent me from personal growth. What also ends up happening is mental instability takes root and I spend energy onto negativity as opposed to positivity.
Unfortunately I don’t have the magic pill. My growth has been a long and arduous one. I’ve had to learn what my personal biases were through hard experiences and lots of personal introspection over 30 years. It seemed like since I could remember, I always dealt with mental struggles. As a child, that thought process carried over for a long time and well into adulthood. Childhood development really is critical into development into adulthood.
I believe what is continuing to help me grow is finding an outlet to unleash my emotions, both good or toxic. Also, if your personal biases are longterm minded and you frequently struggle with paralysis by analysis, you might need to switch over to a mindset of living day to day.
Long-term to Short-term
I’ve always been someone that struggled with looking at the bigger picture, and then finding the task so daunting that I rent negative mental space in my head. This saps all of my energy and prevents me from achieving incremental gains towards progress. So I switched over to making baby progress and then building upon that framework over time.
When my work ethic started faltering and I severely let myself get out of control with laziness, I had to start over as a baby. Metaphorically, I took baby steps and kept on focusing on the basics to develop my foundations. I started with going to bed at my optimized bedtime, and then waking up at my optimized waketime. If I achieved that, I met my goal. I stopped putting too much load on my schedule. Later on this served to create a balanced load that my body could handle physically and mentally. What this serves is it positively conditions my mind for further wins instead of negatively flogging myself for being late; and then going down a negative worm hole.
What happens when you fail?
I used to flog myself whenever I failed. Whenever I woke up late, missed an important meeting, or missed an objective, I panicked and criticized myself. When you have a natural reaction to just panic when things go awry, you can’t help but blow up. I was conditioned to respond to failure with panic, and as a result I didn’t have coping mechanisms. Usually what happens when I panic is I go into a state of negative backtalk and I blow my load so much that I don’t get anything productive done. So I had to develop my own coping mechanisms without much help from therapists (mine were worthless), and through a lot of panic attacks. At the time, I never knew that what I was experiencing were panic attacks; But now that I know what to expect, I have better coping skills to adjust.
The first thing you should do when you fail at your objective is look at the positive. That’s all you can do. You have to let yourself know that it’s not the end of the world and that you can always rebound from loss no matter how big. If you missed an important meeting, think about all of the new clients you can succeed with moving forward. At the same time, you should at least try to salvage the meeting and/or client you just missed. If your mind is not yet ready to face confrontation, don’t worry. Let it go. Get in the mindset of not trying to avenge your loss against yourself by amping yourself up to win next time. That just serves to set you up for another failure because your expectations are too high and you put too much pressure on yourself to perform. This is also another version of self-flogging. Keep your energy levels neutral and keep your positivity in a state of zen. If your positivity is false, and based on erratic energy, it is detrimental.
What’s most important is not giving energy into failure whatsoever. You should try and develop the 3 second rule. As soon as you fail, move on immediately. This requires stoicism and some mental toughness. The key is to never let negative emotions seep in. You also have to be extremely conscious about your emotional state after a big loss when those closest to you are near. They might say something benign or offensive that might trigger you and cause you to blow up. Give ourself have permission to fail as much as it takes till you finally succeed. Over time, one success will beget more success. There is no such thing as failure when you succeed one time, but you make the same mistake again later on. Be sure to positively reward yourself mentally or physically whenever you win to condition your brain to new patterns.
I switched over from looking at things on a macro level, to focusing on the micro. I started looking at each day as progress towards my goal. If I made even 0.5% to 1% progress, I succeeded. And it doesn’t even need to be tied to this fixed percentage. Any gain is good gain so long as I compound it and I follow through. This caused me to have less anxiety and performance issues. This also caused me to compound my growth day to day instead of being motivated in one huge spurt one day, and then blowing my load the next; then passing out for 6 days afterwards.
I started to slow down my sense of urgency and I mentally reset my inner clock to meeting 1 objective and that was it. The singular noun is crucial because you don’t want to let other thoughts flowing in which can derail you from meeting your goal. Just 1 thing at any given time. I couldn’t let my mind drift on things outside of my control; but only on the objective. If I knew that I had to be at a certain place to take a test, and it took 1 hour to get there, I planned on heading out at least 30 minutes in advance. 40 minutes was optimal because then it allowed me to walk slower and be more zen. This caused me to achieve my objectives for the day, meet my appointments on time, and allowed me to rush if something were to go awry. By meeting my singular objectives, I positively reinforced these small habits and kept compounding my foundations. Pretty soon 1 objective became 2 and then 3 and so forth; but only after I met objective 1 and when I knew I leveled up.
Focus On The Objective
Since I didn’t have the feeling of pressure to perform, I was able to focus on one task at a time. This led to me developing an ethic of “follow through” and “discipline.” Once I started my objective, I had to finish it no matter what. I am currently compounding my growth on these two virtues with small wins over time.
Focusing On Only The Positive
In the past, I focused on only the negative, that I lost sight of what the positives were. Or I focused too much on the negatives and “what ifs” that I stopped being motivated at continuing on. This usually happens when one has a huge goal and in an area with huge competition. I used to focus on “how do I win in this saturated market?” to now focusing on “what can I do to meet my objective”. Instead of focusing on the competition, I only focused on meeting my objective and giving my best effort no matter how much of a longshot it is. In my mind, because I only focus on objective, I don’t even focus on the competition. The word “longshot” is not in my vocabulary. It’s just a word.
Focusing On Objective And Not Money
Because I grew up poor, I always had issues with focusing on the negatives and never on the positives. Usually this created a situation where I was not able to maximize my potential and strengths. This lack of need caused me to label success with money and not on potential or objective. Now instead of money, I only focus on what needs to get done day to day. Instead of seeing how saturated and competitive the real estate market is, I focus on follow through. First I need to pass my real estate test so that is my only prerogative now. After I pass, then I will have to focus on finding a good brokerage. After I get sponsored by a broker, I will have to focus on finding leads. Etc. I only focus on the objectives and never about how much money I might lose going into a competitive market. The most important thing is that your mental health is more important than your money.
Focusing On Enjoyment
All the gurus preach to work 24/7. Even if they don’t mean to convey it, they do because they are operating on a high level and forget that they are selling their salad oil to babies that need to be nurtured. What I learned is to never feel guilty for enjoying life. If I need to take 2 hours of my day to play League Of Legends, I will. If I met my objectives for that day and got 1% better, which compounds the more I do it, I am successful. I am continuing to lay the groundwork for my potential, so who is Gary V to tell me “I’m not fucking doing enough!” Too much of Grant Cardone is not a good thing. Stay in your own lane, not Grant Cardone’s. Chances are you’ll fuck up all of your relationships if you take his advice, and especially so if your style doesn’t fit his. Get me?
Focus On Giving Positivity
When you identify yourself with your work, and you have extraneous circumstances encroaching on your time, you tend to become defensive and lash out offensively at those closest to you. This has happened to me so many times I can’t count. I was a toxic human being because I identified my self worth with my work, or potential, that I encumbered my relationships. Focus on loving yourself first, loving others, and then meeting your objectives and compounding it daily and progressively. If you make gains, you make gains, and you are never stagnant in the long-term scheme of things. Your parents are only with you for a few more years, what is 1 hour of your time now?
These are my opinions only, and what I found after decades of being a toxic and bitter human being. Obviously I’m not an expert, and I may have another manic episode IRL again, but I’ve learned these things in the last month after switching over from a macro negative view to a micro positive view. Once again this is not for everyone, just for myself. If you have trouble with short term impulsivity due to various reasons, than you should probably take the opposite approach. If you have issues with mentality, get mental health from a professional. That will steepen your learning curve and cut your time in half. Thanks for reading and give me your feedback; either good or terribad.